Cougar Hunter
from Where It Hurts by Hit The Fan
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about
For the Forty Plus, Gathering Dust...
lyrics
1.
A boy of 18 in 2003,
In a small little town called Burnham-On-Sea
The girls don't wanna know a guy like me
And Sex & The City was on the TV
"Uh-uh" NO! Do not procrastinate and masturbate,
Go to Cougar Town, go and repopulate!
Hit the internet and get a quick date,
Can't wait but I end up heading out late.
Jump in the taxi, crazily keen,
Done the research, packed the Vaseline.
Although I've got the Arabian Shen,
A camel wouldn't make it in the desert I've seen...
Got a mind so dirty, hard to stay clean,
Pre-Disposed to suck your toes and every crevace in between
Hands Down The Best man to get you Knocked up
Come round and smoke your sons green
(chorus)
I wanna growler, a grizzly grunter,
Far from a Five Star, Far from a Munter,
If you're a 'Past It' potential punter,
Who Ya Gonna Call? 'COUGAR HUNTER'
**Ding Dong**
-Cougar-
"Before we go upstairs, you should meet my son Steve
He's about your age, Oh STEVEN!"
-Steven-
"Hey Bro.."
2.
I'm a real nice guy, I'm tonnes of fun,
But I wouldn't leave me alone with your Mum,
As soon as you're gone, I'm motor-boating the Bum,
You'll turn form a friend, into a stepson,
Listen Steeeeve! It's a Family Affair,
I want Dani and Kyle, Madonna and Cher!
The girl from Transformers 2 with blonde hair?
When she's 37... I'm gonna be there!
Saturday's Step Son Steve understood,
Young Dumb Blondes are simply no good,
I told him to shower as a Step Dad should,
And sleep with a Cougar as Fast as he could!
Off goes Steve, into the wild blue,
I roll a big Spliff that I smoke in the Loo,
In walks the Cougar, "It's Just me and you...
Let me Show you what a Cougar Can Do...
(chorus)
3.
The older the berry, the sweeter the juice,
Well your berry's so sweet that it's rotting my tooth!
Naughty at forty and I've seen the proof,
Getting busy til we're dizzy, Sweat Drippin form the roof,
It's the truth! She took me out in the rain,
Back of the bus, front of the train,
Mile high business up on the plane,
My face squished up to the window pane
Predator became the prey! What can I say?
It was Three whole days, I couldn't get away,
Tied up to the bed with a look on my face
Like "I really gotta find a way outta this place!"
Shit... So I plan my escape from a
Kathy Bates in 'Misery' style of first date,
I'd scream if my mouth wasn't cover in tape,
As I realize: She's Back, FUCK, I'm too late!
(chorus #2)
So, I got used and abused,
Rid like a Pony, beaten and Bruised,
I've bitten off more than I can chew,
You Don't Hunt Cougars: Cougars Hunt YOU!
So, I got used and abused,
Rid like a Pony, beaten and Bruised,
I've bitten off more than I can chew,
You Don't Hunt Cougars: None The Less...
I wanna growler, a grizzly grunter,
Far from a Five Star, Far from a Munter,
If you're a 'Past It' potential punter,
Who Ya Gonna Call? 'COUGAR HUNTER'
A boy of 18 in 2003,
In a small little town called Burnham-On-Sea
The girls don't wanna know a guy like me
And Sex & The City was on the TV
"Uh-uh" NO! Do not procrastinate and masturbate,
Go to Cougar Town, go and repopulate!
Hit the internet and get a quick date,
Can't wait but I end up heading out late.
Jump in the taxi, crazily keen,
Done the research, packed the Vaseline.
Although I've got the Arabian Shen,
A camel wouldn't make it in the desert I've seen...
Got a mind so dirty, hard to stay clean,
Pre-Disposed to suck your toes and every crevace in between
Hands Down The Best man to get you Knocked up
Come round and smoke your sons green
(chorus)
I wanna growler, a grizzly grunter,
Far from a Five Star, Far from a Munter,
If you're a 'Past It' potential punter,
Who Ya Gonna Call? 'COUGAR HUNTER'
**Ding Dong**
-Cougar-
"Before we go upstairs, you should meet my son Steve
He's about your age, Oh STEVEN!"
-Steven-
"Hey Bro.."
2.
I'm a real nice guy, I'm tonnes of fun,
But I wouldn't leave me alone with your Mum,
As soon as you're gone, I'm motor-boating the Bum,
You'll turn form a friend, into a stepson,
Listen Steeeeve! It's a Family Affair,
I want Dani and Kyle, Madonna and Cher!
The girl from Transformers 2 with blonde hair?
When she's 37... I'm gonna be there!
Saturday's Step Son Steve understood,
Young Dumb Blondes are simply no good,
I told him to shower as a Step Dad should,
And sleep with a Cougar as Fast as he could!
Off goes Steve, into the wild blue,
I roll a big Spliff that I smoke in the Loo,
In walks the Cougar, "It's Just me and you...
Let me Show you what a Cougar Can Do...
(chorus)
3.
The older the berry, the sweeter the juice,
Well your berry's so sweet that it's rotting my tooth!
Naughty at forty and I've seen the proof,
Getting busy til we're dizzy, Sweat Drippin form the roof,
It's the truth! She took me out in the rain,
Back of the bus, front of the train,
Mile high business up on the plane,
My face squished up to the window pane
Predator became the prey! What can I say?
It was Three whole days, I couldn't get away,
Tied up to the bed with a look on my face
Like "I really gotta find a way outta this place!"
Shit... So I plan my escape from a
Kathy Bates in 'Misery' style of first date,
I'd scream if my mouth wasn't cover in tape,
As I realize: She's Back, FUCK, I'm too late!
(chorus #2)
So, I got used and abused,
Rid like a Pony, beaten and Bruised,
I've bitten off more than I can chew,
You Don't Hunt Cougars: Cougars Hunt YOU!
So, I got used and abused,
Rid like a Pony, beaten and Bruised,
I've bitten off more than I can chew,
You Don't Hunt Cougars: None The Less...
I wanna growler, a grizzly grunter,
Far from a Five Star, Far from a Munter,
If you're a 'Past It' potential punter,
Who Ya Gonna Call? 'COUGAR HUNTER'
credits
from Where It Hurts,
released May 23, 2013
Written by Joe Mooney
Produced by Wayne 'Lotek' bennett
Trumpet - Ted Kazan
Trombone - Jono James
Written by Joe Mooney
Produced by Wayne 'Lotek' bennett
Trumpet - Ted Kazan
Trombone - Jono James
license
all rights reserved
tags
about
Hit The Fan Melbourne, Australia
Classic DJ & MC Combination
"No Bullshit, No Gimmicks, Just Boom Bap &
Lyrics..."
Independent Hip Hop! Uncensored! Untamed! Unstoppable!
Debut Album: Where It Hurts - 24/05/13
Hit The Fan host Two Weekly Open Mic Nights
That's A Rap -Mondays@First Floor
&
Got Skillz? -Wednesdays @Whole Lotta Love
... more
discography
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Sep 2013 -
May 2013 -
May 2013 -
May 2013
contact / help
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